Be Better Not Bitter

When shaking, battles, tests and trails come they can make us BITTER or BETTER. They are all opportunities to grow in faith or grow in fear.

It is not what happens but how we deal with what happens that matters. The warning against becoming bitter is very clear because it affects us and others.

Heb 12:15
 “LOOKING DILIGENTLY LEST ANY MAN FAIL OF THE GRACE OF GOD; LEST ANY ROOT OF BITTERNESS SPRINGING UP TROUBLE YOU, AND THEREBY MANY BE DEFILED.”

Ephesians 4:31-32
 “Let all bitterness, wrath and anger and clamor ands evil speaking be put away from you with all malice (or desire to see another suffer). Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one anothe .”

“Let” and “be” indicate a decision of our will. It is not wrong to feel hurt or anger, but we need to deal with it as quickly as possible.

The stages that lead to bitterness are usually:

  1. Oversensitivity to a verbal remark, action, or lack of action by another.
  2. Initial hurt feelings.
  3. Continuing bad feelings toward a person at the thought or sight of him.
  4. Retaining wounds and frequently talking about them to others.
  5. Allowing alienation (separation) between you and the other person to take place.
  6. Verbal slander against the person.

The characteristics of a bitter person:

  1. A bitter person cares very little for the person he is bitter against.
  2. He is very touchy and self absorbed.
  3. He can be ungrateful.
  4. He becomes harsh and critical.
  5. He holds grudges and finds it difficult to forgive.
  6. He displays stubbornness or a sulky attitude.
  7. He will help no one or complains sometimes when asked to help.
  8. He experiences mood extremes-highs and lows.

There is a story in the Word that deals with the healing the bitter waters. Within it is a lesson.

Exodus 15:24-25
 The water is bitter until the tree is cast into the water. The bitter waters caused a bitter reaction – murmuring. Moses cries out to God and is shown a tree. The tree represents the cross (Calvary’s Tree).

If we are bitter we need to apply the cross.

  • To need to see that Jesus carried the sin that caused the hurt
  • To need to see that He took the judgment for that that sin or offence
  • To need to see that He forgave and asks us to forgive in like manner
  • To need to see that He showed compassion and kindness to those who around Him at His time of greatest suffering

God revealed Himself at Marah as YAHWEH ROPECHA, “the LORD your healer.” Ask Him to come and pour in His healing to heal the hurt.

If we are a leader we cannot afford to carry offenses that may lead to bitterness, because bitterness has a root that is difficult to remove. So next time you are offended, falsely accused, disappointed by others or attacked by others decide to seek God’s help. Pray for them, forgive them and ask the Lord how he wants you to act towards them and bless them. You will become better rather than bitter.